TOURIST ALERT

THE GREAT PARIS MÉTRO SCAM

By RICHARD CARREÑO

[WC News Service]

Paris

While France remains on high-alert, following recent terrorist attacks, and its armed forces and national and local police deployed to block still more murder and mayhem (a potential bombing was thwarted just this past Sunday at Nôtre Dame), another zealous security force is working diligently underground here to deter another fierce threat -- this from unsuspecting tourists.

In fact, these agents are nothing more than a band of weasels employed by Paris's equally conniving subway system, the Métropolitan, or Métro, to ostensibly enforce a wide range of rules of regulations to maintain underground safety and order. Not a word of truth to it! The Métro police have, in fact, have a singled out docile -- often non-French speaking -- visitors as their prime target. The offense? Not retaining the paper ticket used at turnstiles to enter the subway network. The punishment? Strict fines.

I know. I was nailed this week. This, after eighteen months of residence in Paris (in the 60s) and more than forty visits in subsequent years. And I speak (and read) French.

Shame on me.

Lausanne's Métro

Photos; WC News Service/Richard Carreño

FRENCH TECHNOLOGY,
SWISS HUMOUR
By RICHARD CARREÑO
[WC News Service]

LAUSANNE, Switzerland -- Most subway straphangers consider themselves lucky if the train they're riding foretells an upcoming station stop with a PA update (too often muffled, too heavily accented, and/or generally unintelligible), or, at best, with a visual announcement that requires a neck-straining contortion to check it out. Lausanne's Métro has such methods beat: Welcome to the world's smallest city with a full-fledged subway. And, arguably, also the world's quirkiest, where approaching stations are announced by animal sounds. As from horses and cows. And rushing water, as in a waterfall.

Forget verbal announcements or visual legends. In their place, at alternating stations, are the amplified sounds of cows mooing and the hoof beats of stampeding horses. The pattern seems random: As I approached the Line 2's Croisettes stop, it might have been the horses that I was hearing. Thirteen stops away, at Ouchy, mooing might have been cued up. Either way, be forewarned to alight if your stop were next.

Reflective Relaxative

For many travelers, public transportation is harried and fraught with anguish. Not so for PJ writer Justin Carreño, a frequent flier. Rather, on-board travel acts as a relaxing sedative. He reports from Washington. 

Three Out of Four Ain't Bad

At the Library Company
Mourning Broad Street Station
By Richard Carreño
[Writers Clearinghouse News Service]
The centrepiece to the current exhibit at the Library Company, 'Working on the Railroads,' is table-sized model of the former Victorian-era Broad Street Station, which, in the right light, could have doubled for St. Pancras in London.

'Former' because Philadelphia's Pennsy station, across the street from City Hall, was razed in the mid-1950s. That after a fire that left its platform shed in cinders, the construction of the 'Chinese Wall' to connect rails to the main north-south ones along the Schuylkill, and another fire that damaged the main structure. Still, it's a shame that this treasure is gone. But for Philadelphia, three out of four ain't bad. Meaning that we at least still have the Reading Terminal, Suburban Station, and 30th Street-Penn Station.

By Philly standards, that kind of preservation (no thanks to Ed Bacon) is some kind of record. Even New York lost the grandeur of its old Penn Station. And there's no telling if and when the old main Post Office across the street on 7th Avenue will be converted to a remodelled Penn Station annex to be known as the Patrick Moynihan Station. 

Transportation

On Pittsburgh's Routes

Masters of the Routes

The Routemaster is the name of the double-decker bus that we normally associate as a staple of London traffic as London fog. At least, we did. And, we do again. It's been a long, bumpy ride.

     To modern sensibilities, the Routemaster is about as dangerous -- even more -- than riding without a seatbelt. The reason is the open-air, rear step on platform that allows a passenger to alight and board, and access the top deck, almost a free will. And yes, it can be tricky.

     After years of travelling on Routemaster, I was witness to only one accident. And it was serious. A young female, maybe five, maybe six, the daughter of an apparent tourist mother on her own, slid off the platform into on-coming traffic. Normally the ticket agent, usually stationed at the platform, is its guardian. He wasn't there. The mother screamed. The bus screeched to a halt. Everyone was in state of near panic. I alighted the bus there, never certain exactly what happened. I assume the worst.

     Former Labour 'Red Ken' Livingstone banned the Routemasters a few years ago.

     Enter Conservative Mayor Boris Johnson, who reintroduced an updated Routemaster last year. Whether BoJo had a plan for additional safety, I don't know.

     How the Pittsburgh Tour Company -- yes, Pittsburgh! -- has provided for Routemaster safety is also a matter of interest. As far as I know, the touring company has the only Routemaster commercially operating in the United States. It's a 1964 model, and it's as dangerous -- especially to inexperienced tourists -- as they come. Pittsburgh Tour Company bills itself as only 'hop on, hop off' tour in the city. I hope the company doesn't mean that literally. 

-- Richard Carreño
The J U N T O depends exclusively on reader support. Please help us continue by contributing directly via PayPal, or by contributing editorial content via WritersClearinghouse@yahoo.com. Empowered by Writers Clearinghouse | S.P.Q.R. 1976 Richard Carreño, Editor

From The New Yorker

Well....

Well, you can take the Subway Surface fom 30th Street Station, or you could walk three blocks north....

The Philadelphia Junto depends exclusively on reader support. Please help us continue by contributing directly via PayPal, or by contributing editorial content via Writers.Clearinghouse@comcast.net. Empowered by Writers.Clearinghouse | S.P.Q.R.

Bag it!

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Training Wheels

Spotting Trains of Thought

Shipping News

SS United States Mothballed

Junto Photos: Richard Carreno
Once the grand dame of luxury ocean-liners -- actually the fastest passenger ship across the Atlantic -- the SS United States today languishes as a rotting hulk, moored in the Delaware River at pier off Delaware Avenue in Philadelphia. Several groups are trying to save the ship, or, like Saves Our Sites, a local preservation group, at least call attention to the ship's unfortunate state. The United States is famous as the preferred mode of transportation for the 'jet set' before there was a 'jet set.' The Duke and Duchess of Windsor used to wallow in the ship's splendour. Dem were the days....
---RDC

Septa Saves Stimulus...

.... By Hiring Midget Drivers and Cutting Wheels in Half....

The Subway from El

Ex-Septa-tional! By Liliane Clever Junto Staff Writer Went up to the Septa window, asked for a 10-pack of tokens and gave the employee a $20 bill. A simple transaction, you'd think? The Septa guy looked at a chart, and told me that it would cost $14.50.. He took my $20 bill and gave me 50 cents back. OK. Good start. He then slowed down considerably, looked at the chart a least twice, looked at my $20 bill, and reached a complete standstill. After a while, he asked me if he still owed me $5 more. I said, ' Yes, indeed, $5 more please!' He gave me a $5 bill and 5 tokens. This took me in such surprise that I did not react right away. I managed to say that I had just paid for 10 tokens not five. He looked at his chart yet again, thought a bit more, and hesitantly gave me a second five- pack. He looked confused and slightly suspicious. I said thank you and went through the turnstile. One more Septa story to add to my daily Septa experience. I won't mention, of course, the time I asked for a 10- pack and gave the employee $20.50! Forget the Smart Card that Septa has been promising for more than five years. How about some less-than-dumb employees.

Memo to Septa

Junto Photos: Richard Carreno

DC's 'Smart' Metro is Philly Prototype

Washington
Quiet cars. A station grid that footprints the entire city and suburbs. Clean. Reliable. Passenger (customer, friendly, as they say here). Electronic boards, like ones in London, that announce when a train will arrive. Did I say clean?

And Smart cards that a customer just waves over the turnstile. Again, like the London system. OK, we can quarrel with the payment scheme. Fares are calculated by distance -- like an Amtrak fare. My preference is flat fee, which is less regressive. The poor live on the outskirts of the District. The rich, in Geogetown, or nearby Virginia suburbs. Ditto, re the poor in Philadelphia.

At plumb, Metro, the country's second-largest subway system, is a culture. (It also boasts the world's longest escalator). Unlike Septa ('All the Poor, All the Time'), Metro is used by all social strata -- and races. Everyone appreciates its convenience as a great alternative to abhorrent traffic grid-lock here.

Even DC hip-hoppers and gang-bangers, on the Metro, are a tad more suave. Not as creepy as their like-minded undergrounders in the Quaker City.

And, did I mention clean?
---RDC

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All Aboard!

Photos: WritersClearinghouse News Service

Andrew
Hamilton
in Avignon?

Actually, this is a mural on a lower level of Reading Terminal. It's been there as long as I've been in Philadelphia. That's 10 years. So it's at least that old. It's one of my favourites.
---RDC

The Knowledge

Hail, Cabbie

By Richard Carreño

Junto Staff Writer

Philadelphia.

Dimitry doesn't have The Knowledge. He doesn't have a hack licence. Still he was able to take me around Centre City this afternoon -- in a London black cab! The real thing, thanks to McNeil Inc., the makers of the pill-poppin' pain-killer Tylenol. And like the real thing, as often as not from the West End to Hammersmith, Dimitry's cab 'black' cab was wrapped. In Tylenol adverts, of course.

First, it was Boston, then New York, and now here.

I was across the street at 19th and Chestnut, and two female youngins asked whether I needed a cab to run around town. At the moment, I didn't, as I was heading to CVS (Consumer Value Store, for those who need to know) to buy eggs. 'OK, why not?' I responded when I saw the cab, Dimitry at the ready. Me the 'Guv'ner.'

Dimitry, it turns out, is from Wilmington, and he's one of two drivers who've been hustling Centre City slickers since yesterday around town. Sorry, no airport rides. How about the Philadelphia Art Museum. 'No clue,' says Dimitry. So much for The Knowledge. Another clueless Philly hack. Except Dimitry isn't really a licenced driver. He's a college student from Delaware.

Actually, I need a cab for 9 AM tomorrow, Wednesday. Could Dimitry be available? No luck. 'I start at noon to eight,' he said.

There's another thing: Why was this cab fitted with left-hand steering? Is The Knowledge coming to Philly?

On the Street

Park(ing) Space

These photographs are from Peter Frishauf, taken in front of his brownstone on West 103rd Street, in New York. Peter is active in vehicular issues in New York, principally limiting auto circulation, especially in mid-town areas. It appears that fun was had by all!

Transportation

Who's that Man in the Foster Grants?

From Peter Frishauf, in New York:--

Taking aim at the richest irony of the faux-populist case against congestion pricing, Transportation Alternatives has released this ad [PDF], coming soon to a newspaper near you. The copy reads:

Drivers from Westchester earn an average income of $176,231.
Only 4% of New York City commuters would pay the congestion fee.
100% of the congestion fee goes to improving mass transit.

Do the math:
Congestion Pricing = Better Transit

You know, he even sort of looks like that other guy from Westchester.