MY SUMMER

Broken Bonds, Temporary Life

By Justin T. Carreño

It was 1998 and the second summer I was working for the University of Connecticut Environmental Research Institute (UConn ERI) as a student employee. ERI, established in 1987 and located on UConn's Mansfield Depot campus, not far from the main campus, was a center of basic and applied environmental sciences and engineering within the university. It conducted research in the environmental sciences and engineering for state and federal agencies, industry, and educational institutions.

 

ERI was located in the Langley School Building on the western edge of Mansfield, a town two miles from the main UConn campus. It is the site of the former Mansfield Training School and Hospital for the mentally handicapped, opening in 1860 as the Connecticut School for Imbeciles. It was closed in 1993, at which time the property was transferred to the University without appropriate resources to improve deteriorating building and site conditions.

Many buildings are dilapidated and uninhabitable. They were left in their original condition, except for the ERI building, which was partially refurbished, leaving the rest a quiet ghost of the past. The buildings lacked proper security, so it was relatively easy to access them. During my breaks I’d investigate what was in these places. But after going in, and alone, I wondered if it was really something I wanted to do. Hands down, it was one of the creepiest places I’ve explored, where wheelchairs sit empty in the eerie silence of abandoned halls, and drab green and white lead paint peeling off the walls. It was like walking into a Stephen King novel.

 

The building's history aside, I was intent on working in the environmental science field, and knew this would be a good résumé builder. Not to mention, it was a convenient commute – so convenient I’d bike to and from the office every day. This year they offered me a position in the inorganic chemistry laboratory. I couldn’t think of anything worse – I barely find "chemistry" going on dates. But it was a temporary student position, and the hiring manager, and my to-be supervisor, Mike, assured me it would be a good fit, and I would be taught everything I need to know. And, it did, in fact, prove to be well worth it. After college one of my first jobs was working at an ocean engineering firm in southern Connecticut, and they said they hired me because of my work experience through college, and for that, I was grateful for ERI and Mike.

 

All my lab co-workers were Chinese or Chinese-American. Except Mike.  He was in his mid-to-late-30s, from California, a U.C. Berkley Chemistry Ph.D. He was down-to-earth, easy-going, sociable, and fit. He was new to the East Coast, and seemingly didn’t have much, if any, family or friends in the area. His work didn’t offer him much of an opportunity to socialize because his team of ethnic Chinese scientists were insular, keeping to themselves and speaking mostly in their native tongue with each other.

 

Wanting to get ahead, and, assumingly with little else to do, Mike poured a lot of energy into the lab, and often worked long hours. Also, he did, in fact, talk a lot with me, and we got to know each other pretty well in a short period of time. Part of me thought he may  hired me just to have someone to talk to during the day. But I’m social and I learned a bit about chemistry, so he made the job tolerable for me. Part of that job was to mix solutions by swirling them in a bulbous glass flask with a valve that you’d plug into the top. The container would generate pressure, so you just release the pressure valve every few swirls to keep the container from bursting.

 

Because of the extremely corrosive acids and unstable chemicals we were using, I’d have to wear personal protective equipment (PPE). Every morning I’d change from my bike gear into lab wear – a white lab coat, goggles, face shield, big rubber gloves that overlapped my sleeves. There were emergency eye-wash stations and a shower just outside a nearby door that would release a deluge of water when the valve opened. I’d typically be so hot from biking to work in the summer I’d joke that I was going to use the shower one day just to cool off.

 

After donning my PPE, I’d mix the solutions, begin my swirling, and think about weekend plans, think about life, guess what animal or what part of the animal the Chinese scientists were eating for lunch, and talk with Mike about his bi-coastal life, about future plans, girlfriends, tell college stories, vent about problems, talk about life in general.

 

Once when Mike was out of the lab in a meeting, I thought I’d engage the lab researchers, but their English was limited, and, although smiling and nodding, they were short in their responses. I just went back to my swirling of the bulb flask – kind of mesmerizing. I realized that I needed Mike’s discussion more than I thought. My mind wandered as I swirled – what am I going to do this weekend, I really want to take a vacation, what am I going to do when I graduate, I should really go for a run tonight.

 

I looked up and saw my boss walk in the room…then explosion! Glass and droplets of chemicals all over...and on me! Mike sprinted towards me. He didn’t say anything, except maybe, “Oh, shit!” He motioned and ran with me to the shower, which was just outside the door behind me a few steps away. He pushed me into it, opened the valve, drenching me as I stripped off my PPE.

 

Ironically, the fact that my boss wasn’t there to engage with allowed me to drift off in my own head, and I forgot to release the valve, causing the pressure to build and the glass flask to break. After assessing what happened, it didn’t seem as bad as I thought, and going under the shower was more precautionary. Thankfully, I came out unscathed, and I owe it to the PPE, and, yes, the quick action of Mike. He later told me that typically the glass doesn’t break – usually the top pops off, and, at most, sprays a bit. It was just my luck for this container to break.

 

At the time I was living in a house with roommates and we were still in college mode, and we’d often go out on weekends, and I’ll tell my boss about the different places to go. Mike would say sometimes, “maybe I should go out and have a drink.” It was a subtle hint he didn’t want to invite himself. I had only been at the lab about a month, but I knew my boss didn’t have much going on, and given what had just happened, I decided to extend an invite to him, and he jumped at the opportunity. It was evident he was bored, not having met many people. Storrs, CT, where UConn is located, sits in one of the most rural areas between Boston and New York, so is not exactly a bustling metropolis during the summer Rather it’s quiet, set in the agricultural, bucolic countryside, with hilly roads, and all the twists and turns to go along with them.

 

So, it was done – around 7pm on Friday. My boss was going to join us at a UConn institution, Ted’s Bar and Grill. Our regular group met up, but Mike was a no-show, so we started ordering our regular beers and wings, just enjoying having little responsibility and a whole lot of summer. I thought my boss was going to show up later. He didn't. I never got in touch with him. I figured it was a little odd, seeing how excited he was to go out, but figured maybe he just decided to forgo it, not feeling well, or just tired. I thought, “No problem…. I’ll see him on Monday.”

 

I got to work on Monday, ready to mess with him for not going out. Rather, Mike’s boss called us all from his lab for a meeting. He said Mike was driving Friday night; the impact was great. His car was virtually wrapped around the tree. It was assessed he fell asleep at the wheel. There was no chance of survival.

It’s odd how emotions work. At the time it was disturbing, but it didn’t seem to impact me much as one would think. Although we talked a lot at work, that was the extent of it, and I had only worked for him barely a month. Mike was a good person. He was dedicated to making a positive effect on the world through his research, he sought meaningful relationships and love, and strived to live his best life. For me, he was a good influence, and from what I could tell, he left a lot of good in the wake of his short time here on earth. 

And, really, I think that’s all we should ask of ourselves – pursue love, forge lasting friendships, strive to take pleasure from and contribute to the world around us, and, ultimately, leave our life having been a good person, making positive impacts, no matter how great or how small.