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Wednesday, 1 April 2009

Yo, Ben!


1520 Spruce Street, Ste. 906

Philadelphia, PA 19102



April 1,1776

Via Email

No Confirmation by Colonial Post:

Re: Nothing can be said to be Certain; Except Death and Taxes. .. Ben Franklin April 1776

Dear Citizens;

As you note. it is the first day of the New Quarter and the year is clearly 1776. I have just been elected President (now that should take you aback) not of the Colonies, but of the single Proprietary of Pennsylvania, what you may now call Governor. There seems to be substantial portions on my Plate as I am in charge of Hospitality for an approaching Meeting .

Come early summer we will naturally Host the Second Continental Congress right here in Philadelphia. It is going to be much bigger than the First and for space considerations we must move it from Carpenter's Hall a Block West into our own Pennsylvania State House. Curious what History will eventually call this Historic Building?

Many accommodations must be made. For example my young Red Headed Friend from Virginia, Thomas Jefferson, has asked for a spacious suite of rooms in the suburbs to better focus on his critical writings, so I am looking for a place on the Prairie somewhere around Seventh Street. John Adams, ever a Problem, needs a rental above an apothecary so he can run down stairs 24/7 to secure Prescriptions to cure his Abrasive Attitude.

Other Delegates provide unique situations; i.e. Delaware's Caesar Rodney will have to be placed on Committees that only meet at night, being widely acclaimed as the Most Un-Attractive Person in this part of the word; It seems he scares Women and Children during the Day Light Hours. For other Virginia Representatives they also have Special Needs; James Madison being a peanut of a man at a wee 5 foot 3 inches always has to be placed in the front of the Chamber, even with his Booster Seat . George Washington requires a Cabinet Maker on call in the event he has a concern with his Wooden Teeth.

Well I must be Off now to attend to other Important Matters of State, but always have found time for little Hoaxes like the above scribbling, especially on April Fools Day! Enjoy and graciously cast your eyes on the attached electronic Portrait of the Good Doctor and Mayor Nutter tapping the First Keg of Hops at Philadelphia's Second Annual BEER WEEK!

Surely Appreciate the warm breezes as you know these Showers will bring May Flowers.

Humbly Submitted

your servant ,

Benjamin Franklin,

Electrician Extraordinaire

a.k.a. J. Ward Larkin