What do lawyers use for contraception?
Did you hear about the dyslexic rabbi?
He walks arounding saying 'Yo'.
What is the Cuban national anthem?
'Row, Row Your Boat.'
What do you call a pig who has learned karate?
Fran Liebowitz on:
'I'm here to tell you that in real life there's no such thing as algebra.'
'I've done calculations, and I figure your chance of winning the lottery by playing are exactly the same as by not playing.'
'My favourite animal is steak.'
'Never ask your child what he wants to eat unless he's buying.'